bluWave Airlines acquires 2850 West Horizon Ridge Parkway

Henderson, NV — Earlier this morning, bluWave Airlines signed a contract with Regus PLC in an agreement to purchase its 2-storey, 50,461 square foot building along Horizon Ridge Parkway in Henderson, NV. The building, which has been serving as the airline’s primary headquarters since 2010, had been occupied solely by bluWave employees since the beginning of last month.

“We’ve been encouraging the airline to strengthen its balance sheet with the purchase of real estate since last summer when the company was mid-bankruptcy,” Mike Dovi of Matrix Advisors told the press. “The building is in excellent condition, it’s ten years old, and it’s only twenty minutes away from McCarran.”

When the airline first acquired space in Henderson, it only rented the space it needed. This allowed the company to minimize their monthly expenses and regulate unwanted commitments. However, according to Connor Levens, President and CEO of the carrier, sharing space with other companies within the building frequently disrupted the firm’s daily activities.

“This acquisition is going to bring a slew of benefits to both managers and employees,” said Michael Shaw, the airline’s Director of Human Resources. “This will include lower operating costs, an expansion of the operations floor, and will add to our credibility as the industry’s leader in environmental sustainability as a newly certified LEED building.”

Towards the later part of the conference, a reporter from an undisclosed news outlet asked the bluWave management team what they thought about MetroAir’s recent announcement of increasing capacity on their Baltimore-Beijing and Ontario, California-Beijing routes with the airline’s newly purchased Airbus A380s. Levens, quick to reply, gave the following monologue:

Good question, Joe. Quite frankly, as CEO of an airline which does not compete in the international market at all, I cannot see why any airline would want to launch service to Beijing out of two airports which are not, by any means, ‘primary international hubs’ for passengers. Ontario more-so than Baltimore, which market are they targeting? In Baltimore, at least you get the crowds from Washington D.C., Philadelphia, and heck–let’s give them the benefit of the doubt–maybe even New York. But to declare service on this scale out of an airport nearly an hour outside of Los Angeles, I begin to wonder how they conducted their marketing research.

With the audience stunned, the reporter continued to pursue the issue, stating that the nearly seven-year-old airline was claiming a 98.6% load factor on each of the two flights, daily.

“I think what Connor is trying to say is that there’s something wrong with their calculations,” Shaw replied. “98.6%… that number is too high for a daily flight between Beijing–although major city and the capital of China–and Baltimore and Ontario here in the States.”

Levens continued his colleague’s statement during the press conference by explaining that the 98.6% load factor meant that, on average, MetroAir was promising fill over 500 seats on each flight, 100% of the time, four times a day between the two routes. “Such a feat is nearly impossible and if they still claim to meet their expectations once these flights commence, then I would strongly encourage industry analysts to look into the way their marketing departments conduct research.”

About bluWave Airlines ——————————————————————————————————————

bluWave Airlines, Inc. was founded in the autumn of 2010 and serves eleven (11) destinations in seven (7) states and carries over four (4) million passengers annually (estimated). The airline holds a partnership with the Starbucks Corporation and serves the Starbucks House blend on each of its flights. Its flagship aircraft is the Boeing 737-800, each of which are equipped with winglets and the newest RNAV equipment. The airline is in no alliance and at the moment has no partnerships with other airlines in the virtual airline industry. bluWave Airlines, Inc. is not a public company.

NOTE: This document is fictional. There is no real-world airline known as bluWave Airlines and there is no real-world affiliation with the Starbucks Corp.

UPDATE: MetroAir Virtual CEO Matt Calsada has since published an article on the MetroAir Contrails blog announcing that the announcement to expand to Beijing from Ontario, CA and Baltimore was an April Fools joke. For additional details, read the full article here.